Beginning

I'm beginning to see things in a new way. I am a true believer in the phrase "everything happens for a reason". I know that it is hard to understand what that reason is at the time, especially when you are going through it, but believe me... everything happens for a reason. I've been struggling lately with all of the changes that are occurring in my life. You would think that just graduating with my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology would make me super excited... it does, but it's been a rough adjustment for me. Since shortly after I met Chad I have been a student (that's six years of my life).  I worked full time for most of my two years at Crafton, and then I worked a little as a server through part of my pregnancy with Peyton, but for the last two years of my college education I was a mother and a full time student (during both of my pregnancies). Being a student was my social time, my escape, my future... and then, it was OVER! Kind of devastating, if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, I plan on going back. I know it doesn't have to be over forever but for now it's over. It's a hurdle into a new part of my life that I really didn't prepare too well for; I didn't really know I had to. I thought, "hey, school's over and now I can relax, enjoy being a wife and a mother, have some free time." HA! I am not the free-time kinda gal!! (Ask my husband) I need to be busy, busy, busy! That's been my life since I can remember... always on the go. I can do it with my eyes closed, hands tied behind me back, baby on one hip, two year old climbing on my back... I have to be moving... or else... And I need people in my life. So, graduating has been tough, but I have come to realize some good things about this... Chad and I recently began attending Yucaipa Christian Church and I realized that God has been by my side. I was feeling kind of depressed to be honest... not having school, not having most of my family to support me in my journey through life (the family is a complicated topic for another time), thoughts running wild through my head.... but then we started going to YCC and I realized that there was a purpose for me again. I got involved. I joined MOTS (Mother's of Toddlers) and signed up for the Women's Bible Study. Through both I have met some wonderful women who I hope to someday call "friends". These woman are an inspiration and a god sent gift to me. I realized that I am not alone. There are mother's out there who experience some of the same things I do, there are mother's out there who need support just like I do, there are mother's out there who don't have all the answers either... I guess there are mother's out there who are just like me. That's good to know! If I were still in school at this very moment in time, I would not have had the opportunity to do all the wonderful things that I am doing. So, for that I am very thankful and feel very blessed. I know that there are going to be some people who are going to try to get in my way or say things that are hurtful or judge me for turning to God, but hey, I'm just going to let them because it goes back to my favorite quote of all time... "YOU SEE, IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD; IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY!"